Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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