TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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