Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
