I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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