Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
