I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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