Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Come on in and take your pants off
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
