I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I deserve this hangover.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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