I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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