I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
She's the barista slut.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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