He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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