Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
