He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
