I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
