why didn't you poke me back
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize
