bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
