I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished�
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
