He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
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