i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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