We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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