people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
