Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I think I just shit out all my problems.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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