I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
