That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
