Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
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