i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
