it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize