yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
