Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
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