remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
