Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
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