I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
