Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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