Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Randomize
