Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Randomize
