At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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