Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
