I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Randomize
