Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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