fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
