similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
