Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
