btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
