it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
You are a genius and a whore.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
