You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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