You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
