You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
