dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
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