found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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