wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
the day after is always just damage control
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
