i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
