I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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